The new season is a good time to reiterate my television-watching philosophy — no child abuse (no animal abuse goes without saying).

Increasingly, it’s difficult to watch television if you have my squeamish objections to things like kids in jeopardy, violence against women, and torture scenes. Ironically, animal abuse (think “Cabaret” and Kristallnacht) used to be the way to show you “meant business” in a drama. People won’t stand for animals being hurt in movies and TV anymore.

A friend of mine who is a filmmaker specializing in grind house B-movies that fictionally kill off entire suburbs worth of people, tried to propose burning down a pet shop and was soundly vetoed by the producers because people enjoy watching other people being slowly eviscerated but you can’t hurt a poodle. And hear hear! Poodles are precious.